Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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