hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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