It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My vagina is officially offended.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
