It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
