he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
