I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
