He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
