Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
