Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
