they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
