Redeem this text for a blowjob
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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