He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
