AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
