He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
