At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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