there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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