Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize