he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
