Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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