Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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