Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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