eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Someone came in the potted fern
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
