Apparently you make a good broom.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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