I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
