That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
