I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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