at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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