wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
