I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
