I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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