So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
