Just mADE A PArabola og urine
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
