he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
