where does the pee come out of this thing
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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