my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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