i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
