I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize