He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
