Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
