How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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