i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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