In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just had sex bonerless
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I love having hate sex.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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