Me too!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
