we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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