She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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