Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
