This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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