New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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