My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
