We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
