I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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