I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
