I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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