I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't think brook has ever known best
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
