my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
