i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
