her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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