mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
