I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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