Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
